Of Fingers and Crazy Uncles…

Of Fingers and Crazy Uncles…

Gene Martin is a son-of-a-bitch.  That was my first thought when I realized that he had inadvertently made me party to a joke with no punchline for about 20 years.  In fact, though, Gene Martin was a very kind man. Father to my friends Corinna and Rory and my Scout Master for a brief time.

It was in his capacity as Scout Master that he first drew me into his web of lies and engendered a disproportionate amount of sympathy from me for nearly two decades.  We were gathered around the campfire when Mr. Martin showed us kids how he could pull his finger off…

DISCLAIMER:  I had never seen the ‘Watch me pull my finger off’ illusion.  This trick involves bending the index finger on your left hand and tucking your thumb behind your index and middle finger on your right hand.  You then place the thumb in front of the index finger joint on your left hand and move it away giving the illusion that you’re pulling the tip of your left index finger away from the rest of the finger…  Back to Gene, the son-of-a-bitch.

Mr. Martin claimed that he had suffered some accident that had left him with a prosthetic finger tip. He then proceeded to pull his finger off using the technique described above. I was devastated. Now, I had no crazy uncles or engaged father to teach me the ways of the Dark Arts. As a result, while most ooh’d and aah’d at Mr. Martin’s trick, I found myself feeling sorry for our beloved Scout Master. What sort of accident did Mr. Martin suffer? Was it painful? Did it bleed a lot? Did the absence of feeling in that finger affect his ability to throw or catch a ball? If Corinna or Rory wanted to buy their father a pair of gloves, were there certain restrictions? Was he strictly a mitten man? I was a seven-year old with too many questions.

It must have been during my mind wandering that I missed the reveal – where Gene shows the trick and everyone has a good laugh (or maybe he never demonstrated the reveal and there are others, like me, suffering to this day).  You see, for the next twenty years I occasionally thought of Mr. Martin and his ‘disability’.  I remember a time in the Army when I was deconstructing a sand bag bunker.  There were a couple hundred sand bags to be moved, cut open and drained of their contents.  This took several hours and, at one point, my hands began to bleed.  In that moment I recall thinking of Mr. Martin and how he was able to do so much with only 9 1/2 fingers that I felt guilty for lamenting my current situation.  My thoughts of Mr. Martin on that day were also somewhat inspiring.

I was 27 when I finally saw somebody repeat the illusion and I realized (without much effort) that it was just a trick.  I then thought of Mr. Martin and had a good laugh on the outside (and rage on the inside) at how much sympathy and thought I’d given to Mr. Martin over the years.  With a newborn son of my own at that time I set out to master this illusion of the netherworld.  As my son got older, the trick was a big hit with him and his friends.  The key to success was really selling it.  I would grit my teeth and fein a strain in attempting to ‘remove’ my finger.  I was very popular at the kindergarten drop off circle.  I had no idea that my biggest performance would be to an international audience several years later and 6400 miles away.

I found myself in the country of Senegal in 2007 doing stuff and things.  I was headed into a local school when I passed three young boys about 9 years old.  I threw a ‘What’s up fellas?’ their way (because OF COURSE 9 year olds in Senegal speak English) and was met with the reply of ‘What’s up, man?’.  The chatty young man was rather pleased with himself for having such a casual conversation, in English, with a man four times his age.  Seeing an opportunity, I called back to them and proceeded to show them my slight of hand from the Hogwart’s House of Slytherin.  The reaction was as expected, a mix of amusement and bewilderment.  Having a meeting to attend I hurried off and didn’t give the encounter a second thought for the next two hours.

When I emerged from my meeting there was now gathered almost fifty kids waiting for the White Devil who could conjur spirits and also pull his finger off.  The spokesman for the group (my talkative friend from the earlier encounter) had apparently told his friends about El Diablo.  As he was tugging at his finger coaxing me to perform my trick again, you could tell that the assembled group was divided.  Some had gathered to see the Beast from the East remove a perfectly good finger from its rightful place while others gathered to mock the boy who told such tales.  I was not about to let my friend be called a liar.  At first I feigned reluctance. Then, with a little prompting, I put on a show that would have impressed David Copperfield (or at least Carrot Top).  Eyes widened.  Mouths hung on a hinge; and then all hell broke loose.  The children scattered as if they’d been shot out of a cannon.  They ran screaming from our jamboree.  I don’t speak French, but I’m confident I recognized the speech pattern of The Lord’s Prayer as the children ran away.  I was a little perplexed at the response then began reasoning how the heck they’d have ever seen something as absurd as a grown man pulling off his finger.  Maybe they don’t have crazy uncles in Senegal.  Surely they don’t have the Boy Scouts of America in Senegal.  It had taken nearly twenty years, but I had now become a son-of-a bitch in my own right and I was a son-of-a-bitch to an entire nation of youth!

No Comments

  1. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Many thanks, A good amount of content!

    27 tons of viagra viagra soft tab
    generic viagra
    does viagra help with premature ejaculation – https://genericviagramsl.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  2. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Terrific forum posts. Thanks.

    milwaukee teachers viagra intravenous viagra
    viagra generic
    reviews of female viagra – https://genericviagrantx.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  3. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Reply
  4. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    With thanks, Wonderful information!

    what to expect from viagra 88 keys stay up viagra full
    generic viagra 100mg
    becoming a viagra sell man – https://genericviagramsl.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  5. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Point very well applied.!

    under arm viagra viagra online pharmacy cheap
    viagra without a doctors prescription
    safety of generic viagra – https://genericviagrantx.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  6. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Fine postings. With thanks!

    viagra users discussion search viagra viagra find edinburgh pages
    viagra pills
    where to buy viagra us – https://genericviagrarcp.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  7. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Cheers, I appreciate it!

    what works better cialis or viagra does cvs minute clinic offer viagra
    buy viagra
    miller firm won viagra lawsuit – https://genericviagramsl.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  8. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Thanks a lot! Ample forum posts!

    viagra type of medicines viagra literotica
    viagra without a doctor prescription
    viagra in holland – https://genericviagrarcp.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  9. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Seriously quite a lot of very good info.

    viagra and simvastatin viagra quotations
    buy viagra online
    granulated viagra – https://genericviagrarcp.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  10. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    You suggested this very well.

    roomid 71 viagra the 7 dwarfs using viagra cartoon
    generic viagra online
    email viagra virus – https://genericviagrantx.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  11. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    With thanks, An abundance of write ups.

    is viagra bad lol herpes online prescription viagra
    generic viagra online
    viagra and super cum – https://genericviagramsl.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  12. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    You stated that adequately.

    revatio same as viagra shipping viagra to australia
    buy viagra
    viagra niacin – https://genericviagrarcp.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  13. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    You said it terrifically!

    men over 50 viagra heart condition viagra cialis from canada
    buy generic viagra
    when was viagra created – https://genericviagrantx.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  14. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Reply
  15. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Thanks a lot, I appreciate it.

    dosage viagra lower blood pressure whats the active ingrediant for viagra
    generic viagra 100mg
    viagra leverans stockholm – https://genericviagrarcp.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  16. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Wonderful content. Regards!

    viagra de ke esta hecho pros and cons of taking viagra
    viagra generic
    jackie corbin and viagra – https://genericviagrarcp.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  17. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Thanks a lot! An abundance of content!

    viagra and heartworm in dogs health south cover viagra
    generic viagra 100mg
    when viagra and levitra doesn’t work – https://genericviagrarcp.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  18. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Thanks a lot. Plenty of forum posts!

    damaged by viagra u 6485 viagra
    viagra 100mg
    viagra as generic – https://genericviagrantx.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  19. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    You made your stand pretty effectively..

    where can i purchase viagra find viagra pages edinburgh free
    viagra 100mg
    best place to buy viagra – https://genericviagrarcp.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  20. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    With thanks! Terrific information!

    india generic viagra stop viagra spam emails
    viagra without a doctors prescription
    viagra mixers – https://genericviagrarcp.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  21. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Thank you. A good amount of material!

    my husband took viagra viagra 90 pills x 100 mg
    generic viagra 100mg
    does viagra for women work – https://genericviagrantx.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  22. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Wonderful write ups. Thank you.

    viagra fedex overnight shipping online us pharmacies generic viagra softtabs
    viagra for women
    5cheapest viagra substitute sildenafil – https://genericviagrantx.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  23. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Really lots of valuable tips!

    wendi virtual viagra viagra drug side effects
    viagra pills
    viagra realy works – https://genericviagrarcp.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  24. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Whoa lots of amazing info.

    viagra paperweight woman take viagra for men
    generic viagra 100mg
    generic viagra 100mg – https://genericviagrantx.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  25. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Truly plenty of amazing knowledge!

    viagra falls band viagra stories real peoples experiences pharmacy
    buy generic viagra
    cursor called viagra – https://genericviagrantx.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  26. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    You’ve made your point.

    600 mg viagra buy viagra in vancouver
    cheap viagra
    viagra buy in uk online – https://genericviagramsl.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  27. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    You made your point.

    viagra vitamans cheap viagra cialis india
    generic viagra online
    generic viagra release date – https://genericviagrarcp.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  28. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Whoa quite a lot of awesome data.

    find search viagra free pages computer viagra causes blindness and hearing loss
    viagra for sale uk
    other viagra – https://genericviagrarcp.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  29. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    You revealed that exceptionally well!

    viagra racial discrimination edinburgh viagra tid search charles
    viagra for women
    search viagra free sites computer find – https://genericviagramsl.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  30. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    You said it adequately.!

    mixing daily cialis with viagra tadalafil viagra vs
    buy viagra online
    what is comparable to viagra – https://genericviagrantx.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  31. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Very good material. Many thanks!

    web md viagra can i buy viagra online
    viagra for sale uk
    viagra sealis – https://genericviagrarcp.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  32. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    You’ve made your position quite effectively!.

    washington post viagra aphganistan viagra buyer
    viagra 100mg
    supplements that wil work like viagra – https://genericviagrantx.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  33. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    You said that very well!

    viagra celias nicky clarke viagra edinburgh pages pregnant
    viagra 100mg
    hydrochlorothiazide contradict viagra – https://genericviagramsl.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  34. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Nicely put. Appreciate it!

    buy online pharmacy viagra viagra cheapest price
    buy viagra online
    viagra cheap canada northwest – https://genericviagrantx.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  35. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    You have made the point.

    viagra vs nitro viagra to ireland
    viagra online
    sustiva viagra – https://genericviagrantx.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  36. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    You mentioned this exceptionally well.

    internet viagra source get approved online viagra united kingdom
    cheap viagra
    disp no 19105 viagra – https://genericviagrantx.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  37. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Thanks. Valuable stuff.

    canadian cheap viagra viagra timing
    generic viagra 100mg
    soma imitrex viagra levitra – https://genericviagramsl.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  38. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Fine data. Thank you.

    st martin buying viagra viagra ganaric
    buy viagra
    viagra voorschrift – https://genericviagramsl.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  39. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    You stated this very well!

    biggest effect viagra vs herbal viagra twice
    generic viagra online
    subaction showcomments viagra thanks watch – https://genericviagrarcp.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  40. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    You suggested it very well.

    funny picture viagra obtaining viagra from the nhs
    viagra for women
    viagra dosage best taken when – https://genericviagrantx.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  41. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Truly plenty of valuable knowledge!

    picture of a penis on viagra find viagra free sites search pages
    cheap viagra
    questions and answers about viagra – https://genericviagrarcp.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  42. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    You said it perfectly.!

    over the counter equivalent to viagra viagra vacumms
    viagra pills
    are viagra is good solution – https://genericviagrarcp.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  43. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Reliable tips. Appreciate it.

    viagra negative reaction what is in viagra
    viagra generic
    buy cheap viagra india – https://genericviagrarcp.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  44. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    You actually stated it really well!

    viagra generic 20 cents from india liquid viagra mam
    buy generic viagra
    prozac and viagra – https://genericviagramsl.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  45. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Reply
  46. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Many thanks. I value it!

    ciallis or viagra i belive in viagra
    buy generic viagra
    ingredients viagra – https://genericviagrarcp.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  47. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Reply
  48. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Nicely put, Many thanks.

    effects generic side viagra viagra casserole
    buy viagra
    find viagra free online search – https://genericviagramsl.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  49. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Perfectly spoken genuinely! .

    solubility of viagra viagra pay with paypal
    cheap viagra
    viagra in action photos – https://genericviagrarcp.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply
  50. Your comment is awaiting approval.

    Kudos! A lot of advice!

    viagra manchester boots best way to take viagra
    generic viagra online
    viagra causing macular degeneration – https://genericviagrantx.com

    GeraldPisee
    Dwaynelaf
    KevinAnake

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these <abbr title="HyperText Markup Language">HTML</abbr> tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

*